Secret Desire
by Hawkflight7
Summary: Rachel's having an odd dream today that makes her admit a secret desire... but not who it would be with. Rated M for very minor adult theme plus langue.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is rated M for minimal mature content, it doesn't go into much detail. So enjoy this little thing I came up with, and go ahead and try to figure out who Rachel's dreaming about. I'm interested on what you'll say. Please review and all that. yeah. It's night time so I'm kinda out of it, sorry if there's any errors.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs, if I did Rachel wouldn't have died.**

My name's Rachel but you probably already knew that

I was having a dream. Weird as hell I might add.

Weird because where I was looked like my room and I wasn't sleeping there. I was sleeping at the barn with Cassie and the others. Why? We didn't have the energy to morph after our last mission. I think of it as a slumber party. Okay that doesn't sound very weird but this next part does. There was another person in there with me. I recognized them yet I didn't. It was one of those familiar stranger things. But I don't have dreams of people I have never met. So it had to be someone I knew, but I couldn't fully recognize them. Maybe the problem is I wouldn't. Maybe not.

Here's another scary part. When they spoke I recognized the voice but couldn't pinpoint who it was from. "Hey Rachel."

"H-Hello." I said stammering a bit. Which wasn't like me. "Who are you?"

"You know who I am Rachel."

"No I don't. I mean I recognize you but..."

Whoever it was cut me off. "It's okay if you don't recognize me. I know your confused..."

Now I cut him off. "Yes I am confused!" Why am I yelling at someone in a dream that should mean nothing to me? "Tell me who you are! Now!" I added to sound tougher.

"I can't until you accept your feelings and realize who it is you want to be with."

"I know who I want to be with." I lied. I knew it was wrong but I had been feeling attracted to Jake. Of all people it would be my cousin, that one my friend Cassie is in love with. It was wrong. On more levels than just the friend matter. So it was really wrong.

But this lie went deeper than that. Before Tobias I had started to become attracted to Marco. I know what your thinking, 'Oh he's not that bad Rachel. Maybe not but it was very wrong of me to be in love with... was it three? Or was there a fourth? No. I didn't think of the slug like that I just admired him. Yes, I was very messed up for admiring a yeerk. Although I do have more in common with them I sometimes think then the other Animorphs. I liked causing destruction. So did they. It sickens me every time I admit that little fact. But there is a difference, I liked destroying them to protect my planet. They destroyed other planets for hosts. Hosts. The direction my train of thought had gone was starting to bother me.

"Rachel?"

I looked up to find the black silhouette was halfway across the room. "Stop." I commanded.

He stopped. "Are you going to come over now?"

"Wha-no." I said.

"But I'm lonely." That reminded me of Marco.

"Shut up." I said and closed my eyes trying to wake myself up.

I opened them. It hadn't worked and... Marco, maybe? Had cut the distance by half again.

"Stay away from me."

"I'm worried about you Rachel you've gotten more vicious in the battles lately." Jake... a wave of guilt swept over me.

"I'm fine." I mutter.

"Want to talk about it?" Tobias.

"Uh no."

"Rachel, talk to me."

"I don't want your pity."

"I won't give you my pity."

"Yeah right." I say not believing that at all.

"Let me come over."

"So your not going to pity me? You'll try to comfort me instead?"

"No, and Yes."

I sighed confused with myself. It was my dream after all, my thoughts. Why not have a guy that's part all of them comfort me? It's wrong in the first place to love them all. That's why Rachel.

"Raych?"

"Fine."

I saw a smile as he walked over. I pushed myself up into a sitting position. "Well since you are just a part of a figment in my imagination I don't see why I can't tell you how messed up I am in my love life."

"That's why I'm here."

"Yeah. I noticed how you act like everyone I love."

"You need to decide."

"How?"

"Name the one you truly love."

"I don't know who that is though." Well this was helpful.

"I'm the one."

"Tell me your name then."

"I already told you it doesn't work that way Raych."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"It's a nickname."

"I like my name better."

"I know of something else you'll like better than this."

"What?"

"Stop talking."

I barely had time to be alarmed as solid hands pushed me back down onto my bed. The fact that I was dreaming slipped my mind as the boy hovered over me. "Get off!"

"But this is what you want from me." he murmured.

"No! No it's not! I don't even know you!"

His face shown with hurt. His face... why couldn't I see who it was! "If it isn't then why did you dream it up?"

I froze my heart beating fast. Why had I dreamt this up? No time to answer that question though because he was push-I'm sorry I meant rip. He ripped my shirt from me exposing my upper half! "I don't know you! Stop it!" Fear was rushing over me no matter if it was real or not. This weird dream was starting to turn into a nightmare.

"Stop saying that. Or do you think if you scream loud enough it'll wake you up?" At this point one thing was obvious. Even if I didn't know who he was he knew me. Pretty damn well too. "Are you insane!" I screamed still secretly wishing that my screaming would wake myself up.

"Perhaps." Was the simple answer as hands roamed over my body. I tried to feel disgusted but whoever this was-who apparently according to my damn self to is who I love-I found it impossible to be even the tiniest bit of disgust towards this man. Man? Didn't have time to think over that very much. Except for the, I could just think that cause I love him part. I shivered as something else dawned on me. Was I in love with another cousin? Ohhh shit! A chuckle interrupted me and get this, it reminded me of Tom. "Shit!" The chuckle continued as my other clothes were ripped off as well leaving me naked and a dream breeze crept in from a crack in the window making me shiver.

"Cursing doesn't suit you." he said as I suddenly realized he didn't have anything on as well.

"Ohhhh shut up whoever you are." I had finally come to a decision with myself. If I couldn't wake myself up that's okay. It's not like I was really loosing my virginity. Although from the weight those hands were putting on me it felt real and that meant this would feel real as well. I clamped my mouth shut.

"Don't be like that Rachel."

"shut up." my comment was slightly muffled cause i refused to fully open my mouth to speak.

"Shut up because you want to be done with talking?"

"No!" I began to shout it turned into a pained scream when he thrust deep into me. A whimper escaped me as he pulled out. "stop." "Your dream, sweetie." and with that he plunged right back in. He continued his motions as I slowly joined him.

"told you." he whispered in my ear as he laid next to me.

"That I have to choose?"

"No. That what I just did is what you want from him." Him who? I thought silently.

"That sounds perverted."

"Not my fault."

My gaze floated around the room. "Good thing it's just a dream." I murmur.

"Your little secret." he said softly.

"No. It's a desire."

"At least you figured something out."

"Is it Tom?"

"I can't answer that."

"Please tell me."

"I can't. You have to admit it to yourself."

"Fine."

"Just admitting one doesn't mean it's the right one." The voice faded out of my ear as did the room from my vision.

**roar**

**I'd like to know if any of you readers think I should start a story. Begin it after this event and all that. It'd be rated T because I already have rated M material for an animorphs story hiding somewhere. Which i'm sure you'd all enjoy and even more if your a rachel fan. Anyways that's not coming till summer ends and I edit the first like four chapters.**

**The story will eventually show who Rachel's in true love with. No it won't be sappy.**

**Vote Yes or No please.**

**and if you're up to it guess who she loves I'll guarantee that it'll take you a good amount of thinking to figure it out.**


	2. AN

**Author's Note**

I don't know if everyone is aware of this so i'll say it here.

"Let's share this Moment" is the fic based off this one.

I'll admit the first two chapters weren't my best but it gets a heck lot better on chapter three and on.

Also-you should be aware-everything i put in stories is to set up a following scene/give as much detail as possible/make sure the story moves smoothly.

Another hint as to who it is-if you've read "Enslaved" well, do you really think i'll make it _that_ easy for you?

**Well then, have fun kitties!**

my neko is showing again...


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